You may have heard the term “misery loves company”. No matter how miserable some people are, they continue to wallow in their sorrows day in and day out.
Why? Because it is comfortable. You know what to expect. Because your subconscious wants to keep you safe, even if that means sticking to the status quo.
Your subconscious doesn’t really care that you are unhappy. Its primary goal is to keep you out of danger. And if meeting new people is dangerous to your ego because you believe you don’t have the self-confidence or skills to mingle and talk chit-chat, your subconscious will find a way to keep you home and lonely.
Here are a few more examples:
- Always being broke, even if you have a good job and make plenty to cover your basic expenses.
- A slew of failed intimate relationships because you seem to always be attracted to those who are emotionally unavailable.
- You lose a bunch of weight, start to feel and look great, then decide to eat a bunch of fries and a dozen glazed donuts which re-triggers all your cravings. The sad part is you didn’t even really WANT the fries and donuts!
Most of our dysfunction begins at the ripe age of 6, when we start to internalize messages we get from other people. Here’s the kicker, it is our perception of the messages that get stuck in the subconscious, not necessarily how it really was. For example, say your parents discussed how hard it is to own your own business at the dinner table. They talked about how it is better to work for large companies that can guarantee you retirement benefits. You have now formed a belief that being an entrepreneur is bad, while doing the 9 to 5 thing at a company is good.
Here’s the problem. You may hate your corporate job and feel so claustrophobic being stuck in a cubicle all day. Also, times have changed. Company loyalty may have still existed in the 70’s and 80’s, but now? You are as disposable as toilet paper.
Does that make what your parent’s said false? No, they are different people and came from a different era.
Granted, some subconscious beliefs are derived from childhood dysfunction that really is just that, dysfunction. Neglect, abuse, domestic violence, messy parental divorce, poverty, etc. This adds a whole other layer to your belief system.
It is really hard to “out-think” your subconscious. They is why I got so frustrated with conventional “talk-therapy” practices. It look a very long time. A long, long, long time. Until I found Tapping(aka Emotional Freedom Technique).
Tapping helps you move through the two layers that keep you stuck in the undesirable behaviors.
1. By “tapping” on certain Chinese acupressure points, you first calm and desensitize the emotional blocks. When our emotions are heightened, we don’t exactly think straight, and it certainly isn’t the time to try and “think” our problems away.
2. After emotional blocks are cleared, tapping then helps acknowledge and change the subconscious beliefs that are driving the behaviors. This is where the real work takes place! This is where you will notice actual change and forward movement.
It helps to start with a practitioner who is versed in Tapping. However, once you learn the process, it is something you can do on your own.
What would you do to get off the hamster wheel?