It makes sense that fear stands in your way of dealing with your issues. There is a good reason to be afraid! Who wants to not just recall, but feel THAT THING all over again? That pain in your chest, feeling in your stomach, or image and thoughts that want to send you to your favorite hiding spot or worse yet, to the alcohol or drugs.
Trauma can result from many different things:
- loss of a loved one
- cancer or another serious health diagnosis, and the treatment / life changes that comes with it
- an accident
- childhood neglect
Your way of dealing with your trauma is to attempt to bury the feelings, the memories, and the thoughts in hopes that they will go away. You figure if you push it out of your mind, it will be safer to deal with it later. You are like the house cat that sticks its head in the corner assuming that no one can see the rest of him or her. Maybe if I hide here, my problems won’t exist.
[Tweet “The problem is that trauma never goes away on its own. It festers inside of you and runs your life.”] Your trauma and fear live in your subconscious and every decision you make now “checks in” with it to determine level of risk and safety. And when you don’t deal with your emotions, all the stress that cannot escape still lives in your body, thus manifests as physical health problems. Your pain and suffering have to go somewhere!
You aren’t really aware of the exact moment when your subconscious kicks in, but you know when the unhelpful behaviors surface:
- pushing people away
- getting involved in all the wrong relationships
- avoiding the things you once loved to do
- becoming an overachiever and getting involved in EVERYTHING in hopes that if you stay busy, you won’t think about it
What has avoidance cost you? Friends? Family? Happiness? Peace? Self-confidence? The opportunity to help others that have experienced the same kind of trauma? People who are advocates for others and provide inspiration and hope through speaking and sharing, are the ones that decided they weren’t going to let their trauma run their life!
What if you could “get over” your trauma quickly, without re-hashing what happened over and over again? How would your life be different? What would you be doing differently? Sometimes the decision to actually do something about it comes from reflecting on how you want your future to be. Yes, your subconscious will kick in and tell you “you can’t”, or “that’s not possible”. But remember, you are just reflecting on the “what ifs”, and regardless of what the self-sabotaging voices are telling you, you are not in real danger just by thinking about new possibilities.
Here’s how to take your first step toward healing. Explore and research EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping. This is a tool that helps calm your body’s “fight or flight” stress response so that you can then start to process what happened, which then changes your subconscious beliefs about the trauma. I use it successfully with numerous clients.
Clients that have worked with me report that Tapping:
- calms their body so they can make better decisions
- makes the image of the event a little “fuzzy” so when they try to recall it, they don’t get stressed out
- helped them get their confidence back
- moved them out of their trauma much quicker than traditional “talk therapy”
Life is too short to be held hostage by bad things that happen. What are you going to do about it?
Get access to my 3 part video series that teaches you how to use Tapping to relieve symptoms of trauma.