Setting boundaries… a topic I am addressing this week after working through some of my own control issues. Sigh.
Something that I commonly see in my readings when I look up past life blocks and restrictions is the tendency of entrepreneurs (especially those that are in the more spiritual and healing fields) to give away their energetic resources to other people.
This simply means that in some way, they have overstepped their boundaries and have either tried to force their own beliefs on someone else, or they allow others to take advantage of them.
Sometimes setting boundaries is more difficult with a spouse or family member, because there is a stronger urge to please or seek validation and acceptance. But if you are an entrepreneur just starting out, the same exact pleasing energy of wanting clients to “like” you so they become PAID clients, can interfere with sticking to your boundaries.
Boundary issues often repeat themselves in a soul’s journey. For example, past life contracts (healing, soulmate, or protection) that go unresolved often resurface in the form of feeling the need to “fix” others, jump full-force into EVERY relationship, or protect someone at all costs.
Sometimes it comes from a place of compassion but instead of helping you actually end up enabling that person. For example, your best bud just lost her job, so instead of just sending her some of your leads, you actually start to make calls, and do Internet research for her to the point where she now expects you to give her a daily report as to what you found.
I had my share of healing contracts in my history, which looked like me being more invested in my loved ones well-being than they were. I took it upon myself to try and “fix”, and instill my knowledge and beliefs about health and wellness on others. This was not healthy for either party as it created a lot of internal stress for me because ultimately I cannot control another individual, while instilling resentment in whomever it was I was trying to “fix”.
My increased awareness of my unhelpful patterns has given me new insight into how I want to set boundaries for myself in this lifetime. I am no longer willing to be more invested in someone else’s health than they are. I offer help when asked, but detach from the outcome because ultimately you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.
So while I don’t spend a whole a lot of time on past life blocks and restrictions with my clients, the information is VERY important because…
- You don’t need any more shiz standing in the way of you reaching your goals so we can effectively clear all the past life gunk.
- It really points out the patterns of unhealthy boundaries and overstepping your energetic capabilities with other people so you can DO something about it.
Here are some tips to get you started with the identification process and work-arounds:
1. Get out your journal and start to write down instances that you can remember where you tried to control someone or allowed them to take advantage. If you have already worked with me this process will be a bit easier as I have already pointed some of the stuff out to you. AWARENESS is key.
2. Shift your beliefs about saying “no”. It doesn’t not have to be harsh. You can say…
“Even though I want to say yes to this commitment because you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world, I am a little over-taxed at the moment. I am going to have to say no because I don’t want to impair my health and put you in a position where you might feel my resentment. I hope you understand.”
3. Commit to only controlling yourself. Self-care is essential to keeping an energetic balance so when you start to tilt into trying to force others to do something, remind yourself that this is not your job, and go get a massage or something.
Happy boundary setting!