I recently made some significant life decisions. And along with those decisions came other people’s opinions of what I should do, society’s opinions of what I should do, a shit ton of unsolicited advice, and my own struggle to maintain dialogue with my soul voice versus spin with the guilt inflicted by my mind and everyone else’s chatter.
Here’s the thing with guilt…
It can eat you alive.
It can cause you to falter, re-think your decision even if you were so certain that it was the right thing to do in the first place.
It can change your course of action in attempts to receive the discomfort, overwhelm, stress, and/or loneliness.
It can lead to co-dependency.
It can damage your self-worth and confidence.
…if you let it.
Guilt is an interesting emotion. It is never generated within. Not like sadness or grief over a loss, for example.
Guilt comes from an external entity. It stems from taking on the thoughts and ideas of others and making them your own. The ego mind LOVES guilt because it is usually a guaranteed way to keep you stuck in the status-quo. Remember, the ego HATES even the thought of change.
I have had a love – hate relationship with guilt lately, and have done A LOT of personal work to put it in it’s place. Here’s what I discovered…
1. I can give myself permission to cut the frickin’ umbilical cord.
This means that I can visualize where the guilt is coming from, hear the exact words that usually sound something like “you should…”, see an actual cord (color and all) connecting me to this person or entity, and cutting it with a big-ass machete.
I then watch the source shrivel and fade away. Powerful.
2. I NEED to sit every day with my warrior, my soul voice, my dragon.
This is a part of my morning ritual. Non-negotiable. This is my need by choice.
Yes, my soul or authentic voice (whatever you want to call it) is a dragon. She is really awesome. She is no-nonsense, but gentle, and will tell me exactly what I need to hear, even if I don’t want to hear it.
THIS is the voice that tells me I have to do what I think best for me. This is the voice that keeps me on the path to what I really want and need. This is the voice that gives me the confidence to stick to my gut. This is the voice I hear when I affirm the beliefs I want to hold for myself.
3. Talking to other people about my guilt was just asking for BIG trouble.
It made things 100% worse.
The only exception here is when you hire a coach or therapist. BUT beware, not all helping professionals are created equal!!
Any GOOD coach or therapist (ahem, I happen to be one of them) is going to help you listen to YOUR voice. This is why other people’s “blueprints” and structured programs for transforming your life don’t work well, at least not for the long run.
“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.”
~ Umar Ibn al-Khattab
Have some guilt of your own that you want to get rid of? I would love to chat! You can schedule a free phone consult with me.
And/or, fill out this form to learn how to discover your warrior, your soul voice.