As I write this I am in the country of Azerbaijan.
I know, you ask, “where the hell is that?” I had the same response when my husband told me he was invited to be a speaker at a conference there.
I am somewhere right on the Caspian Sea (which I learned really isn’t a sea, but a large lake – go figure) and bordered by a bunch of countries like Syria and Iraq where no American wants to go.
At first I envisioned bullet proof cars (like our Lima, Peru experience), hotel arrest because it wasn’t safe to venture outside, and being warned to cover myself from head to toe if I did leave the confines of my sacred quarters.
However, I was quite wrong. The little country of Azerbaijan is like a mini-Dubai. Very modern, very welcoming, very safe, and mixes the old with the new. While most of the country is Muslim, it is very secular and we rarely saw women wearing even the basic Islamic headscarf.
In our travel prep we sought out the details of how taxis operate as we usually end up in one at some point or another. We were told not to take unmetered taxis, but the regular metered ones were fine.
On our last day in Azerbaijan the husband and I went to do a little sightseeing in the old part of the city. We caught a taxi from the hotel and it cost us about 4.85 Manat which is equivalent to $2. Stupid cheap for American standards.
Our cab driver was lovely, and tried his best to communicate in English. Tipping is not really a thing here, and we were told to just round up from the fare so we gave him a 5 bill. However, my gut told me to throw the guy a couple extra bucks from a place of gratitude and appreciation.
I didn’t listen to this nudging as my husband said we were just to “round up” and he shoo’d me out of the taxi.
The second the cab left, I knew I did the wrong thing and there was going to be a consequence because my “gut anxiety” jabbed me.
(When I don’t listen to my inner voice I get what I call “gut anxiety”. This is where I feel it. You may feel the anxiety someplace else.)
Not honoring your inner voice triggers anxiety.
I knew that I wanted to give more, but I ignored my intuition so the Universe gave me a good ‘ol, “I told you so”.
On the way back from touring it was super windy and cold so we hopped in the first cab we found. As soon as we took off I thought, “fuck, there’s no meter”. I knew. There was my “I told you so”.
It cost us 20 Manat to get back. That really only equates to around $8, but still… we got ripped off for Azerbaijanian standards.
Here’s the thing. I didn’t listen to myself, and there was a consequence.
You might be thinking that this was my “punishment”, but I honestly don’t see it that way. I got EXACTLY what I have been asking for, which is to be more connected to my intuition so I can create more abundance for myself as well as better serve others.
And how do I learn to be more connected? By making mistakes (both big and small), becoming more aware of my choices, and catching myself in the future.
So my taxi escapade was one of those learning moments designed to get me closer to my goal.
The reason why I wanted to share this with you is that anxiety is a cost of not following your intuition or listening to your soul voice, inner voice… whatever you want to call it.
If you are experiencing anxiety, you aren’t listening to yourself which is causing a misalignment in some aspect of your life.
Maybe you are very aware of the problem but haven’t taken action yet (so you silently continue to suffer).
Maybe you know something is off but can’t put your finger on it.
Or maybe this is the first you are hearing about the connection between anxiety and incongruence.
Regardless, the way out is to LISTEN to your inner voice and start making more aligned CHOICES.