My right front car tire somewhere picked up a monster screw the size of a football field and lucky for me, deflated, overnight, in my driveway. It was flat, flat as the concrete it sat on. And while there is a hint of sarcasm in my “lucky for me” comment, I do consider myself lucky for 2 reasons:
1. I was not stranded…
On the 95, with 5 lanes of speeding traffic, and an hour wait for Mr. Tow Truck Man to come to the rescue. I could at least admire my situation from home.
2. The husband was home from Alaska.
I could hand him the keys, smile sweetly, and tell him that the golf cart (my nickname for my Civic Hybrid) is feeling deflated. I certainly can manage situations such as this on my own, and have done so before, but it is so much better when the man is home to take care of what I call “man stuff”.
Tires deflate. But so do people. It is the feeling of discouragement after things have been running so smoothly, or you have been working so hard toward something, and then it all starts to go awry.
Maybe you are working so hard to advance in your career, but once again, got passed over for the promotion. Maybe your divorce paperwork is finally sealed, signed, and delivered but the ex is still finding ways to suck the energy out of you. Or how about this, you lost 25 pounds after finally getting the sugar out of your diet, went to a party, binged on several pieces of cake, and now are beating yourself up because you are having trouble with cravings again and regained 10 pounds. Sound familiar?
How do you move past feeling deflated?
1. Address the real problem.
My tire got patched, but we were warned that it was such a mighty screw, that we may have some problems at higher speeds. Yup, going over 70 results in such an effect that it is like sitting in a massage chair that vibrates on high speed, tingling and stimulating your inner organs, including your bladder, after finishing that vat of coffee on a road trip. We had to replace the tire.
You can try a “quick fix”, but it doesn’t always work to get you back on track. You may need to do some self-reflection and learn to set real boundaries with the ex versus just ignoring his/her texts. You may need to delve into WHY you felt the need to binge on the cake, and it probably isn’t just a willpower issue. You may need to ask the hard questions about what skills you need to improve, and actually improve them, rather than just staying stagnant in your current job role.
2. Do something different, something spontaneous, or mix things up a bit.
Go away for the weekend. Go to the beach one night during the week and enjoy the sounds and smells instead of turning on the TV. Sign up for a class you have always wanted to take. Sometimes just moving away from your normal routine jumpstarts a refreshed outlook.
3. Change your thinking.
Find the positives in your situation and harp on those. There is always a positive even when something seems hopeless. Make a list. Tape it to your mirror. Read it to remind yourself.
Your thoughts are VERY powerful. Remind yourself that you were able to get a handle on your cravings once, and you are totally capable of doing it again. Identify what you love about your current job role, and maybe after some soul searching, you realize that you don’t really want that promotion anyway as you were meant to do something different with your life.
After a divorce, the goods news is that you usually figure out what you DON’T want in a relationship, and that makes you so much wiser and confident in the future. What area of your life are you feeling a bit deflated? Pick one thing to do about it, and start working on yourself today!
Do you feel stuck? Do you feel anxious or overwhelmed? Are your emotions holding you back from doing the things you really want to do? Lore specializes in helping you tackle and deal with the REAL problem versus dancing with symptoms that keep you unhappy and unwell.