I will be happy when I lose 30 pounds. I will be happy when I find “the one”. I will be happy when I get that promotion. I will be happy when I have more money. I will be happy when I get my dream home.
Happiness seems elusive because we are always hunting for it in the future. We attach some kind of “condition” to it, but without that condition, happiness then becomes unattainable. And if you are vaguely aware that these “things” aren’t coming to you any time soon, then you find yourself deflated and depressed.
I would be happy if my spouse helped with the kids and around the house.
I would be happy if I didn’t have this anger and stress over my divorce.
I would be happy if my mom would get off my back about losing weight.
Guess what, shit ALWAYS happens! People don’t do what you want. There is always something. So if you are attaching happiness to something happening or not happening, good luck with that. Let me know how it works for you.
Let me back up…
Do other people, places, and things make you happy? Well, yes. I mean, who doesn’t feel happy on vacation? (Besides those weird ones who are just grumpy vacation-goers.) Or after getting a new car? Receiving a present? Landing a new job? Meeting someone and feeling that “spark”? Don’t get me wrong, these things generate happiness, albeit TEMPORARILY.
How long after you got that new car that you stop associating happy with it, that it just becomes a car? How long after that promotion until you realize that you now have to put in longer hours and you miss your family? How long until you get irritated that your spouse is “helping” but keeps putting stuff back in the wrong places?
The problem with attaching happiness to external things is that once they are gone or circumstances change, you are left with emptiness.
Instead, why not try the kind of happiness that manifests from inner joy, light, and love? It is the true happiness that comes from within. The kind that is present on a daily basis, where you are RIGHT NOW regardless of your circumstance, body, and the things you have or don’t have.
I call this SPIRITUAL happiness. It is the lasting kind. Ever see someone that just seems to radiate peace, tranquility, and joy most of the time? It’s because they found their inner happy.
So how does one make the shift?
1. Express gratitude.
Every day. Find 3 things to be grateful for. Write them down before bed.
2. Deal with and process whatever it is plaguing you.
Get a perspective shift. Use Tapping or Reiki, get a coach. Whatever. Just get out of the dark.
3. Practice forgiveness (especially with yourself).
“Forgiveness is the key to happiness. The unforgiving mind is full of fear, and offers love no room to be itself; no place where it can spread its wings in peace and soar above the turmoil of the world.”
~A Course in Miracles
4. Connect with your soul voice, your warrior.
Get the videos to find out how.