Why is it that we sometimes struggle to create what we want?
First off, let me just mention that our minds can be quite fickle when it comes to what we want and don’t want. I mean really, how often do you change your mind about what you like and don’t like?
For example, 15 years ago all you wanted was to do was get married and have a family, but now after 5 years of arguments and squabbles, and 3 kids that consume all your time, you wish that you could just be single again and not have all the responsibilities.
Or you hated Brussels sprouts, until, that is, that you went to a restaurant and the chef made Brussels sprouts with ham bits, garlic, and Parmesan cheese, and now you just LOVE Brussels sprouts. (True story, by the way…. go and get the side dish at Bonefish Grill.)
As an entrepreneur with A LOT of inspired ideas, and as a starter but not a great finisher (it’s so helpful to know your strengths AND weaknesses), I fight my monkey mind all the time to not change course after like, 5 minutes.
We are constantly changing our minds about things, and that is actually a pretty nice choice to have. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that people‘s likes and preferences didn’t really matter. Women didn’t always get to “like” their arranged husbands. And it didn’t matter that you wanted to be a healer when you grew up – your family had a farm, so you did too.
We can also want something that’s not good for us, like cigarettes. But not want something that is healthy, like leaving a toxic work environment.
No wonder we get all crazy sometimes!
Despite the already-fluctuating mind, when it comes to reaching goals, and indeed obtaining that which we want (or think we want), it can get a little tricky.
Most of our actions and behaviors are decided at the SUBCONSCIOUS level.
I show this iceberg picture during many of my speaking engagements to hammer in the point. What you can see above the water is your consciousness.
But wait! Look what lurks underneath! A whole shit-ton more of an iceberg that you CAN’T see from the surface.
It’s all the “ice” underneath that controls most of your behavior.
We know this to be true because just look at your life. What is it that you tell yourself you want but you’re not really getting, despite taking action towards getting it?
Is it health-related? A relationship? Money?
If you aren’t achieving something that you want to achieve, then you’ve got some subconscious mo-fo going on that is mucking it all up.
- This could show up as an outdated childhood / family belief.
- It could look like taking a bunch of misaligned actions because you are trying to look a certain way or gain the approval of others.
- Or it could show up as some deep-seated shame based on something you’ve experienced in the past.
Regardless of what it is, it is definitely driving your bus when it comes to this particular area of your life.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
~ Carl Jung
The good news is that it’s possible to make the unseen, seen. There are ways to identify and uncover what lurks underneath.
- Some choose to go to therapy.
- I like using tools such as Tarot and the Akashic Records.
- Those that have a well-established meditation practice might acquire insights that way.
It is also possible to not allow a barrage of likes and dislikes to control your decision making. After all, liking certain things does get us into trouble in some cases! Let’s go to the casino! Anyone, anyone?
Sometimes the Universe does indeed know better and gives us an open door, but we quickly close it because we don’t “like” it.
(BTW… there are some things that are a hard “no”, and you will know this intuitively or through your gut feeling, so I am not saying to now say “yes” to everything. Just be aware of opportunities…)
So as we continue to navigate these difficult times of COVID-19, and racial / cultural unease and unrest, I encourage you to also attend to any unhelpful muck lurking underneath. After all, we need more people to step into their greatness right now, not spin in self-sabotage.